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INSIGHT 28 · PAUL WELLENS

Stop a conversation when words only cause more harm

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A thought to pause on

More words do not always provide more clarity.

"Stopping a conversation is not a failure when the form makes further clarity impossible."
Paul Wellens

A recognisable situation

Two parties have repeated their position three times. No one hears anything new anymore. Every additional sentence mainly clarifies that no one wants to budge. The facilitator allows silence for a moment and then says: "I believe we now know where everyone stands."

A question to consider

What can silence give you now that another argument can no longer provide?

In plain words

We are used to filling silence. But sometimes everything necessary has already been said. Silence can then prevent the conversation from hardening further with words that add nothing new.

The nuance

Never use silence to punish someone, make them insecure or exercise power.

Explanation in own words at What truly moves people and the speaker's compass. Book p. 117; speaker's compass p. 30.

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