A recognisable situation
During a conversation a family member sharply says: "You clearly take sides." The professional feels the urge to snap back immediately. Instead, he calmly replies: "What makes you experience it that way?" The provocation then becomes a question that can be explored.
A question to consider
How do you maintain more control when you choose yourself how to react, rather than giving the reaction the other person is provoking?
In plain words
Remaining calm does not mean swallowing everything. It means choosing yourself how to react, rather than letting the tension determine your response.
The nuance
Calmness should not become submission. A clear boundary may still be necessary.
Explanation in own words at What truly moves people and the speaker's compass. Book p. 33; speaker's compass p. 9.
Practice this insight