A recognisable situation
A client says: "You are not listening to me." The reflex is to immediately explain how much time has already been spent. A better first step is: "What makes you feel that way?" Maybe it is not about time, but about one question that has not yet been answered.
A question to consider
What can you better understand if you first ask a question before defending yourself?
In plain words
Defending often starts before we know exactly what the other person is reacting to. One open question can first reveal the real issue. Afterwards, you can respond much more precisely.
The nuance
Do not keep asking endlessly when a clear boundary, factual correction, or decision is needed.
Explanation in own words at What truly moves people and the speakers’ compass. Book p. 101; speakers’ compass p. 26.
Practice this insight