Bring a tense conversation back to its shared goal.

Two children are increasingly loudly arguing over the care for their mother. Each new argument makes the other angrier. The facilitator stops the content briefly, summarises both viewpoints and asks to discuss one point at a time. Only then does listening become possible again.

What becomes possible again if we first let the tension decrease before continuing to talk?

At high tension, extra explanation is often fuel for the fire. First, the conversation must become safe enough again to listen. Slow down, summarise and reduce your own pace.

Bringing calm is not the same as pushing a conflict aside. The problem still needs to be discussed afterwards.