Do not engage in a conversation in which only victims and culprits may exist

In a family dispute, each party says only the other caused the problem. The facilitator acknowledges what has hurt everyone, but then also asks what each person can still do themselves to make the situation workable. That opens up room for action again.

Which solution comes closer if you look not only at the other's fault but also at what you yourself can still influence?

Acknowledging pain does not mean that one person must be entirely right and the other entirely wrong. Often, several things can be true at the same time. Responsibility begins with the part over which someone still has influence.

Do not create artificial equality when there is clear responsibility, coercion, abuse, or inequality. Then that difference must be able to be named.