A recognisable situation
A mother wants to give her children exactly the same. Not because their situations are equal, but because she fears one child might love her less otherwise. The question is then not only what is “equal” but also how much fear of rejection determines the choice.
A question to consider
Which choice feels most like your own choice when you do not have to consider the approval of others for a moment?
In plain words
Approval feels pleasant. But if we need it to dare to make a choice, we give away part of our freedom. Then the reaction of others partly decides for us.
The nuance
Do not condemn the need for appreciation. Everyone has it. It is about recognising it when it begins to steer a decision.
Explanation in own words at What truly moves people and the speaker's compass. Book p. 25; speaker's compass p. 7.
Practice this insight